If I'm being honest, I don't really feel like writing a blog right now but I know there are so many of you out there faithfully praying for us and praying specifically for this adoption journey so I felt it was important to update you all.
Yesterday we were informed that our dossier was 'rejected'. To make a long story short, the governing adoption agency in Nicaragua was 'not comfortable' with the various places in which our paperwork came from. For example, we had our medical exams done in Ohio with a Mexico address or that our references were from Texas and Colorado, etc. I think, to be honest, it was new and overwhelming and hard to understand for them (shoot, it was hard for us to understand as we were doing it all). Although everything is completely legal and our story makes sense to those that know us, the governing adoption organization is playing it a little cautious. No doubt for the safety of the sweet children under their care.
With that being said, we are crushed. It will be one year since we began this process in just a few weeks and now all that hard work, time, energy, researching, etc seems to be in vain. We are now in the same spot we would have been if we had just waited and began this process when we moved back to the US. I am pretty down and if I'm being transparent, I have had a hard time keeping it together since we found out. I'm allowing myself to go through the shock and process what does this mean and what's next. You're prayers are coveted. There are so many things that have gone through my head as we try to reform a new plan and whatever that plan may hold for our family.
It looks like we will need to redo a number of things in our dossier. I'm waiting for the list from our agency coordinator. We will also need to do another homestudy before they accept our dossier. The challenge with that is we will not be in our new home until late January or early February... and the longer this takes, the longer it will take to receive a referral. urg. A punch to the stomach.
Now, I know God is in control. I know that there is a reason that God has allowed this set back. And yes, I would rather His plan, than mine. But, what lies ahead of me after all I have done seems like an uphill steep climb. The task ahead of me of rewriting, reorganizing, regathering all the paperwork needed seems daunting.
And of course, this also means extra costs... After a move back to the US, this also seems scary.
Please pray for us. Please pray for our hearts. Please pray for comfirmation in how God wants us to handle this and the direction God wants us to go. Pray for our hearts as I yet again make phone calls and wait... make phones calls and wait... to get answers to questions in how we need to do things in our 'unique' situation. Pray for the stimina and energy to do this admist caring for three other kids.
Or if God is closing the door on our adoption, please pray that the Lord would make it clear.