A number of you so kindly have asked if there is any news on our adoption. Oh, how I dream of the day when I can shout to the world, "WE GOT THE CALL!!!" or the day we post an update titled... "Our Family is Home.... One precious life bigger".... but at the moment we are still waiting... and waiting... and waiting.
I recently started particpating in monthly 'call-ins' with our agency. Those who have finished the adoption process in Nicaragua can 'call in' and talk with those who are either just beginning or encourage those of us who are somewhere in the middle. It has been educational to hear the stories of those who have brought their children home from Nicaragua as they shared their experience in country and their unique circumstances once arriving back in the U.S. It has also been helpful to encourage those who are still gathering their dossier and answer their questions. As for me, simply hearing those questions reminds me of how far we have come and that our process IS moving forward.
One of the mothers who had brought home a little girl a little over a year ago asked how those of us who were in the 'waiting phase' were doing. In all honesty, just like many challenging things
in life, there are good days and bad days. I rejoice in God's grace in those good days when I'm either distracted from the waiting or I am filled with the sense of hope... And then there are days
when I cling to God's promises as the idea of actually getting that call from our agency seems like a fantasy. Waiting on God's perfect timing is hard. And adding to that is the very
real tangible fear that at any time international laws can change making things harder or longer, and there is always a possiblity doors could close like guatamala did years ago.
So a couple weeks ago, I had the opportunity to meet with Wendy Willard, a woman whose family started an organization called Fit Nicaragua (Families In Transition) because those who adopt from Nicaragua must spend anywhere between 3 and 6 months in country during a 'fostering' phase of the process before bringing your child home. This can be extremely scary for anyone who hasn't traveled internationally... particularly if only one parent is available to travel. We are so blessed that we can travel as a family during that time, but many mother's make that treck alone with their other children. Fit Nicaragua is a unique organization that assists those in the process with simple things like finding out where to get clean water, where to wash clothes, how to navigate the city, where to take your child to the doctor, etc.
It was super to meet with Wendy and visit with her for a few hours. Although I enjoyed hearing about her ministry as well as some of the updates in Nicaragua, we learned that the Mi Familia's director changed and therefore there has been a little lull over the past few months. She shared a number of things and if I'm being honest, I felt a little discouraged that it could be another 6 months or longer before we get a referral for a child. As many of you know, we have been praying since January 1 of this year that our family would be 1 child larger by December 31st. After visiting with Wendy, I felt that it would be a miracle if that happened.
But isn't that the kind of business God is into? I mean, God does miracles all the time. And I have personally seen Him do things I would never have anticipated and I have experienced His grace in miraculous ways over the years. As I went to bed that night, I just kept thinking God is bigger... God is bigger.
The next morning I awoke to have my quiet time and the first thing I happen to read was Psalm 127. The first two verses say this:
"Unless the Lord builds the house,
those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the watchman stays awake in vain.
It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil;
for he gives to his beloved sleep."
These verses are obviously talking about God's sovereignty. God is in control and no matter what I may do to try and speed the process up, it will do no good unless it's God's desire to speed the
process. God is the one who builds. God is the one who watches over us. It is pointless to worry. I just need to trust Him, his love for me, and His perfect will for our lives.
But this wasn't what caught me off guard as I was reading. The first part of the very next verse says, "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord..." Wow! I know I have read this verse before but oh, how perfect it was for me to read it that morning. Relating these verses together struck my heart in a deep way. I felt like it was as if God was speaking directly too me. He is sovereign and the building of our family will be His work, not mine.
God is bigger than me and what I think is best.
God is bigger than what I heard visiting with Wendy. God is bigger than the Nicaraguan governement and God is bigger than Mi Familia. It would be easy to get caught up in what could happen or what I hear through random rumors, but the reality is that God is in control and God knows what's best.
WIth that being said, I felt steadfast. I felt unwavered. I felt that if God wants our family to be complete by December 31st, it will happen. And if He doesn't, well, He has something better that what I imagine for our family.
So as I stand firmly on God's promises that He is sovereign and that He is good and that He loves me and my family, including that little girl in Nicaragua whom I don't even know yet, I will faithfully pray that God will bring her home this year... but at the same time, I will pray, Lord, not my will but Yours!